Reversal? He May Be On To Something.

Sometimes I think it would make more sense to live your life in reverse.  You know?  Woody Harrelson

Six things I wish I’d never done:

1.  If I went back and changed anything, wouldn’t there be some kind of butterfly effect?  I’m serious.

I got exactly one other answer done before I gave up.  I can’t get over the butterfly effect thing.

I know I would have much rather gotten out of certain situations I was in sooner.

Never gotten myself into some situations at all.

Never met certain people, went certain places or said certain things.

But, bottom line, it all had to happen for me to be the person I am now.

For example, I didn’t do well in school – struggled like you would not believe – acted out – was delinquent and outrageous – but what if I didn’t have that experience.  What if I hadn’t figured out by the time I got to college that the only way I was going to do “well” in school was to take my time at night and re-teach myself the classes I took during the day resulting in graduating with honors.  It was the long hard road to take, but it was my way and I did it.

What if I didn’t have this experience and I didn’t recognize the same symptoms in my own child who is now 14.  What if I didn’t pursue it only to find out she has a learning disability, like I must have had, when she was so intelligent but couldn’t memorize her ABC’s.    What if I let that all go only to tell her she was lazy and should work harder like I was told over and over again.  Would she have acted out, been delinquent and done all the things I know I shouldn’t have.  You bet your ass she would have, so why would I regret that experience now?  It blows my mind when I think of my 14 year old self now and how different my 14 year old daughter is today.  It taught me so much and I do not regret it.  I am thankful for it.  It was hard and painful, but it served a higher purpose in the end.  PS – the kids’ been rockin’ high honors this whole year and takes two accelerated classes.

I suppose if I was stuck in all of the same cycles I would regret a lot, but I’m not.  I’m only stuck in a few – ha ha ha -really, I’m not perfect and I’m learning even while writing this.  I wouldn’t want to share all my experiences, but I can honestly say I don’t regret them – I do hope, however, that I accept the things I cannot change, change the things I can and have the wisdom to know the difference.  (and, no I’m not in AA).

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One thought on “Reversal? He May Be On To Something.

  1. I accept the things I cannot change, change the things I can and have the wisdom to know the difference.

    One of my favorite thoughts/meditations of all time — and I’m not in AA either 🙂

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