Technically, it’s the Gift of the Magi by O Henry, which you can read here, but Sensei is much more amusing in this case considering the gift giver is my husband who also happens to be a karate teacher a few evenings a week in addition to his day job. Ki-ai! (pronounced Key-eye!)
The Gift of the Sensei goes a little somethin’, somethin’ like this….
Way back in October, Sensei started acting distracted. I chalked it up to us all being sick with the obligatory back to school sniffles. It continued through Halloween. Not good. November, sketchy. Then, the fateful day he let slip he had a Pay Pal account. Spider sense tingling on high alert. Disaster. For him. To say I was distressed is an understatement. To say I was angry is like saying Mt. Vesuvius only spit out a puff of smoke when it erupted (note the nod to the Italian temper which I typically keep to a low simmer). To say that my imagination got the better of me, well, I cannot bear letting my mind revisit the places it went, even for you.
Little did I know that he was meticulously researching the gift = distraction. Found out the cost = sketchy. And, knowing me as well as he does that I’d be upset with him spending that much money on a gift for me, he lovingly and selflessly began selling, piecemeal, parts of a collection he has had for ages. But all of this plotting and planning equaled complete sketchy, distraction = bad combo!
Unfortunately, before I knew any of this, the dreaded Pay Pal account debacle occurred wherein he accidentally let slip he had one. DOH! (He wouldn’t have made it as a spy)! Ha…I’m quite certain that I probably either dropped or kicked, or perhaps drop kicked anything that came to the house with my husband’s name on it after that. Might have even been the gift. See whatcha made me do honey???
Late November = my birthday. By this point I am sure he wanted to throw the gift at me, but he didn’t. I would have! (Nod to the Irish / Scotch side of the temper). Nope, he gifted me the below camera – great picture Mitch – yet, it really does capture exactly how I felt the day that I opened it! For those of you who are in the know, me not being one of them, wink wink wanna give me some tips – it’s a Nikon D5000 SLR? Do those letters even count?
Note the professional way in which I am holding the camera. Outstanding, isn’t it? *please disregard the second chin I seem to be sporting in the picture*
It then sat in the box for over a month! I am positive my husband had now turned all of his extra energy into plotting my murder. But, I was intimidated, scared, unworthy! Too many buttons, too many things to learn … didn’t he know that I didn’t read the manual for the last camera I got??? Which, by the way, was nothing like this beast of a thing! Doesn’t he remember how klutzy I am??? I’m going to drop it, smash it, sit on it, run over it, tip it off the ledge of a cliff I’m leaning over while trying to take a picture of a lizard with really cool spots and drop into the mouths of the awaiting piranha below… Yea, he knows, but he has faith.
Mid-December, I finally took it out of the box. The voices of cherubim and seraphim fill the room, well, not really, but you know what I mean. I still haven’t read the manual, but I’m having fun with it. He gave me the telephoto lens for Christmas and you can see me using it while taking pictures of sweaty boys wrestling all month long! Yay me!
I did play a little before then…look Ma, you can see his entire ear canal – yay telephoto lens. And that was from across the room.
And, as promised, sweaty boys wrestling. That would be my son practicing the ancient praying mantis wrestling maneuver during a match!
11:16 p.m. – and done – 3 days in a row! Night everyone!